Planting Dandelions

I am pleased to welcome my friend Amy Bradley-Hole, author of a site which name I love, www.freakyperfect.com.   Like me, Amy loves to read. She has reviewed a fabulous new book for us, Planting Dandelions.   I was pleased to see that People Magazine awarded the book 4 STars. 

Here is Amy’s review of a book that came out last week, Planting Dandelions:

I have to start this book review with a big disclosure: I am friends with Kyran Pittman, the author of Planting Dandelions. She and I have much in common, including long distance love affairs, immigration issues and a house full of testosterone. Since her book is a story about her and her family, and because before reading it I already knew that I loved her and her family, my review is, by default, biased.

That disclaimer out of the way,Planting Dandelions is one of the worst memoirs I’ve ever read. Just kidding! It’s actually one of the best. And I really wouldn’t say that if it weren’t true.

The title of Kyran’s book refers to her long time love of the tiny-yet-hardy plant that many consider to be a weed, but that she considers a flower. The dandelion has become a bit of a metaphor for her life, a reminder that one doesn’t have to be like everyone else on the block, that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and that wishing is a worthwhile activity.

In her memoir, Kyran mainly covers the years of her life spent falling in and out love, finally finding “the one,” and raising a family with him. Anyone who’s ever chucked it all to run away and be with a boy or been a mother unsure of herself and her role within the family and society can definitely relate to her story. I’ve heard her writing compared to Erma Bombeck’s, but Kyran is a funnier, raunchier, and dare I say more honest voice.

If you’re looking for a hilarious take on what the “real” modern family is like, an honest glimpse into the confusing, contradictory cesspool of emotions that mothers and wives must wade through, or a treatise on the negotiations and contracts necessary to run a marriage, you will absolutely love Planting Dandelions.

There. Now I’ve finished the trite and standard book review stuff. I know that many people just read the first part of a review or post, so there’s the necessary bits out of the way. Now I can really talk about Kyran and her book.

 There are parts of it that are tough to read. If sex talk or graphic descriptions of childbirth bothers you, be warned — she writes about both of them. I’m a bit of a prude, and I’ll say, those parts didn’t really gross me out too much, but I did wince or giggle like a pre-pubescent boy at times. But I still can’t believe some of what she put out there. She’s either brave or crazy, or a bit of both.

It’s also tough to read because it’s brutally honest. Kyran talks about her failed first marriage, her emotional affairs, and her judgmental feelings toward other women. I like that kind of thing. I think more women need to be writing about that stuff. None of us are perfect, dammit. There are enough craft blogs and beauty magazines out there making us feel less-than because we don’t have a perfect home, a perfect marriage, perfect kids or a perfect body. The last thing we need is yet another “momoir” that glorifies and airbrushes the realities that women face.

Kyran’s writing is also very different from that of many bloggers-turned-writers and people who write about their lives. It’s different because it’s good. I know “she writes pretty” isn’t necessarily your standard reason a review gives to read a book, but I think it’s valid. I hate writing styles that insult my intelligence. Kyran’s writing, while relatable and easy to devour, still makes you feel smart. She doesn’t talk down to her readers, and she’s not afraid to use her brain or big words or make erudite references. And I like that — it’s quite rare in this genre.

But what I love most about Planting Dandelions is how it makes me — and I’m sure others — feel. It made me feel like my story is worth telling. That my banal life of packing lunch boxes and paying bills and (not) changing light bulbs is worth remembering, worth preserving. I don’t mean that I need to go out and write a memoir. I just mean that, since reading this book, I find myself taking a little more time to find the joy in the carpool line, to honor the importance of listening to my husband, and to reflect on the tradition and history involved in raising my children. While Kyran’s story could give me an excuse — “Hey, nobody’s perfect, what am I so hard on myself for?” — instead, it’s given me a new challenge, a new outlook, and a new appreciation of my role as wife and mother. In a way, it’s given me a new sense of purpose.

 For that, I can truly say that Planting Dandelions is one of the few books that has changed my life. I hope you’ll read it and give it a chance to change yours, too.

What are you reading and where are you going?