Each year I invite an author to share thoughts on Valentine’s Day. Today I am honored to welcome international best-selling author Jane Green share her thoughts. In addition to writing unbelievable books AND a cookbook, Jane brings us into her life with essays about all things and pictures and vignettes of her kids. It is rare for an author of her stature to share so much and to be so downright humble and open.
Jane Green‘s most recent books are:
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I strongly encourage you to read Falling by Jane Green. It is my favorite of her books and hope it will be a movie soon! Buy it here.
Valentine’s Day by Jane Green
Every year I tell my husband that this year we won’t be celebrating Valentine’s Day, this year we won’t be exchanging cards, nor gifts, because we are secure enough in our love that we don’t need to pick a Hallmark holiday to prove it. Also, I am extremely forgetful, and this is my way of making sure I won’t have any guilt when I forget – as usual – to get a card.
And ever year, without fail, my husband wakes me up with a beautiful card (or two), a beautiful chocolate (or three), and occasionally, a beautiful pair of earrings. And every year, without fail, I once again consider myself the luckiest girl in the world.
I have been with my husband for almost twelve years. It took me a long time to settle in to the fact that this was the man with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. I met him newly traumatized from my first marriage, when I wanted nothing more than to look after my children and regain my sense of self.
Even when I realized how wonderful this man was, even after we married, I still had a small fear of commitment, couldn’t see far into the future, so convinced was I that good relationships couldn’t last. I loved him with almost all my heart, keeping just a tiny bit back, just in case; the bit that could be relied upon if ever the rest was broken.
I knew many things about love back then. I knew it was about kindness, and mindfulness, and compromise. But I didn’t realize love is also about surrender; about commitment, making the decision that you’re in it together forever, and allowing yourself to not only love, but to be fully loved, without fear, in return.
I’m still not sure what the turning point was, only that at a certain point, I stopped worrying about putting some money aside, just in case. I stopped thinking about where I might live, if ever things went south, and when I thought of the future, instead of seeing nothing, I saw the two of us together, welcoming grandchildren.
I will wake up this Valentine’s Day as I do every day, enormously grateful for the lessons I have learned about love; for the privilege of knowing someone absolutely, and being known in return; for learning not only how to love, but that I am loveable myself.
And with any luck I will wake up this Valentine’s Day, having finally remembered that my beloved also deserves cards, and chocolates, and a huge amount of love.
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